I've lost my writing voice. I can't hear any of them anymore. It feels like they've just...gone away. It's really fucking sad to miss a bunch of characters, but every single one of them was a part of me, a solace, a safe place. A friend.
I miss Gil most of all.
But now I can't see his face or remember what his voice sounds like. And it's pretty damn pathetic to mourn the loss of someone who never really existed in the first place. It's like I'm some silly little girl who's suddenly turned around and opened her eyes and realised adults don't have imaginary friends.
Still, that crushing sensation of being suddenly alone in a deaf, silent, empty place still hurts. I always get my hopes up, and cling to the fragile belief that something good can remain good without going sour and bitter like rotten fruit, but it's always the same.
Why is it when I close my eyes, all I can see is people walking away from me?
Why is it when I open them, there's nobody there?
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